Growing son, growing father...

Baby singh quickly became a toy for everyone in the family. Everyone wants to take him in the lap and talk to him despite knowing that he understands them the least. All he knows at this stage is crying when hungry or sleeping. In my lap he was sleeping quietly when I noticed yellowness in his body. I told my Mom that he was looking pale; is it something to do with jaundice? She said, “Possibly yes, and that could be the reason why doctor had advised to keep him in the mild Sun in the morning and evening”. I said, “Ok, let’s follow the advice diligently till the yellowness completely disappears from his body”. “Not only this, we have to also make sure that he’s given the antibacterial injection that doctor has advised for next 4 more days”, said Prachi with a gloomy face as she was unable to see her baby undergoing any pain.

Next day evening we had an appointment with the pediatrician for baby’s general checkup. He examined the bay from his eyes till the bottom of his feet, and said that we needed to get his bilirubin tested to firm the medication process. Both Mom & I responded in the same tone, “We’ll get it done tomorrow morning only and show you the reports the same evening.” I wanted to understand the causes of jaundice in a newborn, so I opened my laptop and googled it where I found some informative and some not so-informative articles on it. But most of the articles attributed it as a normal phenomenon that any newborn would have for first 3-4 weeks. We reached the pathology at 10 AM but the guy out there didn’t know how to take the blood from a newborn. We waited till the expert arrived. Both of them found a vein in the left wrist of baby after having done an experiment on his foot which was badly bruised. They injected the needle in his vein – the baby started crying with the unbearable pain. I could not tolerate this and told them straight not to do any kind of experiment on my baby. Sensing the magnitude of my ire they took the baby to the NICU where his blood sample was taken. This entire process took 15 minutes which were full of stress and trauma that I had probably never gone through in my life. Meanwhile there were repeated missed calls on my cell phone from Dad and Shraddha. They were all worried as it was more than 2 hours we had gone and didn’t even keep them informed of the situation. Baby had cried so much so that his throat had dried up and he was in sheer pain which could be made out in his sobbing. We fed him some milk in the hospital.

Both of us got back home and as I was handing the baby to Prachi I could see her shedding tears. “Ab next time se please aisi jagah testing ke liye mat le jaana, mera bachchha kitna pareshaan ho gaya”, she said to me. She embraced him and kissed him all through. I was experiencing emotions, sentiments and love that a father has for his kid(s), and also the duties & responsibilities that he has to take for ensuring their well-being. In the evening when we showed the test reports to doctor, he said that billirubin level was high and we need to keep the baby under photolight treatment. I came back home and told everyone that doctor had advised to reach the hospital by 09:30 AM the next day, baby needs to be admitted there for the treatment. All of us were feeling the pain, nervousness, tension and stress but everyone was empathizing with each other. This was a bad day in totality. To me Prachi yet again came up with a pillar of strength as she was doing everything in order without making others feel that she was very upset and concerned for his baby – she always used to behave in this manner in this sort of situations, and has always told me not to show any tension to Mom, in particular otherwise her BP & sugar level both will go up. I have always respected her for selfless concerns that she has for her mom-in-law.

Next day all three (Mom, Prachi & I) were ready by 9 AM to take the baby to the hospital. All three of us took a sigh of relief and gasped deeply when doctor examined the baby and told that there was no need to admit him. “Please keep the baby in the Sun (morning & evening) and repeat the test after 48 hours”, said the doctor. We all came back home leaving the tension in the hospital. My dad took his grandson and said, “Ye mera bahadur bachchha hai. Kal se isko roz dhoop dikhao bina kisi bhi laparwaahi ke”.
After 2 days we again reached hospital to get the same test done and this time without wasting any time I went straight up to the NICU where his blood sample was taken in minutes. In the evening I collected the report and showed the doctor who then advised to continue the same treatment as the billirubin level had come down. We were all very happy to hear that. Now baby singh has started seeing the Sun every day in the morning and we also started noticing the reduction in the yellowness in his body. Prachi too was recovering well now, and she had started doing most of baby’s work on her own. But when it comes to giving him massage, it is his grandma who never likes to give it a miss. On the insistence of my Dad, now baby singh is given massage twice a day.

I joined back office after 2 weeks of paternity leave. But I do make it a point to call home and hear from each one at home about baby singh. I now realize what changes a man goes thru’ after becoming a father. It pains in the heart when you are holding your baby and someone is piercing a needle in his body even though you know it is happening for the good only. A lazy bugger like me was getting up whenever the baby made any movement or made a sound during his sleep, and was very quick to prepare the milk from him or any other task that was to be performed. It was a fatherly love that I was developing for my son…I am sure every man remains unaware of it till he experiences it himself. Those who say that motherhood is bliss; I want to tell them that even fatherhood is equally blissful. Three attributes of human sentiments, the compassion, care and sincerity, any careless man would develop on becoming a father.

With each day, baby singh is growing, and so is a father in me!

My first stint with the fatherhood...

“No, this is not how a professional document looks like”, I yelled while reviewing the project work with my team when my phone rang. “Haan mummy”, I said picking up the phone. “Can you pre-pone your reservation by a day?”, my mom asked me. I asked her, “what happened” with sheer distress and worry on my face. She said, “No, nothing to be worried about. It’s just that doctor has advised to operate on Prachi tomorrow morning instead of Thursday.” I wasn’t convinced, and wanted to know why this sudden change in the plan, and if everything was ok with Prachi and baby. My mom calmed me down and told that due to less movements doctor has decided to advance the operation by couple of days.

Within no time, I checked the seat availability in the afternoon train to Kanpur, and fortunately I could see some available seats there. I immediately rushed home and quickly packed a pair of Jeans and T-shirt…called the Cab and was off to Railway Station with butterflies in my tummy. Somehow I managed to buy the tickets despite the crowd and boarded the train. First thing I did after boarding the train was to call Prachi and speak to her. I wanted to hear from her and more than that feel from her voice that she was okay. Trust me, when she giggled in my ears, I was a relieved man and had my first sip of Frooti given by the attendant in the train. I was anxious and wanted to reach home in seconds.

After reaching home, I had my dinner hiding the anxiety to see Prachi from my mom & dad. Mom explained to me the entire situation and put me an ease; she told me that movement was fine in the evening after a drip was applied to Prachi. I was feeling a lot better and started smelling the fatherhood which was at the doorstep….lost in my imagination I was about to finish my meal when mom asked me to drop her to the hospital where Prachi was admitted and bring Shraddha back as she wanted to stay overnight with Prachi in hospital. I took her to the hospital and went to the room....and guess what? Prachi & Shraddha were having a blast watching some typical Saas-Bahu soap on the television. I looked into Prachi’s eyes as if I was whispering…here I am Biwoo (that’s the nick I gave her). She just smiled indicating…I always knew that you’d come running. Don’t worry, I am fine, and so is our baby.

We all got busy chatting when one of us said….hey! morning 9 AM is the operation scheduled, aren’t we getting late as it’s already midnight now? Both Shraddha and I were asked to go back home while Prachi was advised to take rest and sleep by mommy dear…that’s when Shraddha pulled a fast one on her by saying…Ok Mummy, we’re going but you take care of Bhabhi & my niece. Mom said, shut up, beta hoga. And we left the hospital laughing at mom’s reaction.

Next day morning, everyone of us assembled at the hospital…Prachi’s mom who was on her way to the destination wanted to meet her lil’ daughter who was about to become a mother. But heavy traffic in the city didn’t allow her….and Prachi was shifted to the OT. Everyone was requested to sit inside the room and not assemble outside the OT. My mom helped everyone in settling in the room. But she camouflaged all of us and sat outside the OT waiting to hear the kilkaari of her grand baby. I could figure that out…went up there and found that to-be Daadi was reciting some shloks & offering prayer to god for the well-being of both to-be-mother and baby.

I still remember that moment - At 9:25 AM on August 26, 2008, a ward boy came out of the OT carrying a green tray…I looked inside the tray and had first jhalak of my baby singh (that’s how I used to call the baby). Sweet lil’ baby singh was doing ooaan ooaan ooaan…I felt blessed; for a moment I thought of taking it into my arms, giving a warm hug, and saying “mela pyaala bachcha” – it was a blissful moment….a moment I was longing for. Mom jumped off the ground and asked the guy, what is it? Is it a boy or girl?....and his answer made my mom overjoyed…she was a proud Daadi now…what she had declared became the truth. It’s a baby boy….she went and told everyone waiting to hear the good news in the room. Mom immediately took some money out of her purse and gave to the guy who gave her this yearning news – she was happy to the core.

Baby Singh was shifted to NICU, and Prachi was fine as informed by the Doctors…”you’ll could visit her after half an hour but 2 persons at a time”, said the doctor. Those who had not seen the baby went and saw him through the glass window in the NICU ward; everyone met Prachi and blessed her. Now was my turn to meet my Biwoo ….she was partly unconscious because of anesthesia effect….I stood there for a while and when she turned her face towards me…my eyes were wet…she smiled…so did I. Neither of us had a need to exchange any word because she knew that all I was wanting to say is, Thank you and ask how she is feeling…and I understood that her beatific smile meant, I am fine…go, see your baby singh and let me know how it is doing. Such is the bond we share. Not many close to us know that I couldn’t have met the baby till I see Prachi. Although I never told this to Prachi but I know that she knew it – that’s how strongly she understands me. Though I wanted to talk to her, sit beside her and crease her hair but I did not have emotional strength to stand there for long because I didn’t want to show my wet eyes to her…I went and called her mom to come in and talk to her daughter. I came out with emotions and irrepressible feelings which were completely visible in my eyes and could be heard in my voice – I wiped off my eyes and drank some water to overcome it all.

Next thing I did was to go & see my baby and ask the doctor what they were planning to do for her dipped glucose level. I saw my baby lying on a machine…shouting and throwing his hands & legs. I was enjoying this moment to the core when my Dad entered and asked the doctor about baby’s glucose level. “Glucose will be given thru’ drip to bring it to a stable level and if need be, milk will also be fed….your baby will be all right and handed over to you in the evening”, informed the doctor. Both of us came out and told the same to everyone else.
My first day as a father was full of emotions and sentiments….my eyes, most of the time, were wet with the sheer joy & happiness…my throat was melting, preventing me from speaking freely to all the people who were either teasing me or congratulating me….it was by far the most memorable moment of my life.